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If there are two things I've come to realize about gay men during my eight-year, five-continent expat tour, the first is this: Those with slightly more finesse rarely seemed to be interested in meeting in public. Many of them didn't even bother with perfunctory niceties, just diving right in: Which brings me to my second realization about gay men while living abroad: His words read like an impersonal formal rejection letter in response to the unsuccessful applications of all nonwhite suitors. In countries where black men are a rarity, like Argentina, Australia and Thailand, there's bound to be curiosity. It was OK to kiss me in the hallway of a dark club on Saturday night, but he wasn't interested in me as a multi-dimensional human being or, presumably, being seen in public with me in the harsh, unforgiving light of day.

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If there are two things I've come to realize about gay men during my eight-year, five-continent expat tour, the first is this:

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Every time Edward made some attempt to establish a human connection by suggesting meeting up for a drink first, the guy responded by insisting on quick, anonymous and, most importantly, clandestine, sex. Even today, black men are almost nonexistent in gay publications and in popular culture. There was nobody like them in the room. If there are two things I've come to realize about gay men during my eight-year, five-continent expat tour, the first is this: Many of them didn't even bother with perfunctory niceties, just diving right in: They're pretty much the same all over. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

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The white guys who approached me and they were considerably fewer in number than they had been in Buenos Aires, Melbourne and Bangkok were generally more brutal and crude than the ones who approached me anywhere else. But it's hard to dismiss patterns I've noticed firsthand and the overlapping assessments offered by black acquaintances from the U. A few blocks away at Crew, the most popular gay club in Cape Town, practically everyone was white. You start to notice trends and subtle differences that might be barely perceptible to the naked eye without months of experiences and the corroboration of people who've had similar ones. According to the Censusblacks make up 39 percent of Cape Town's population, compared to whites' 16 percent, a minority that still holds the majority of the city's economic power while dominating its international image. In another Cape Town -- say, an area like Hout Bay, where impoverished townships crumble adjacent to opulent mansions -- it's black, and it's white, separate and not even remotely equal.

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